August 2007
24 posts
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Humblecore. (Not mumblecore.)
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
You got a summons for parking at a non-existent address?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
How to wear white. Why you should try.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I might actually be proud of her.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Union rules and regulations. Rember when I was on the management side at my first job? That t-shirt: why I love it. How to wash it.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why I listened to it 29 times on Tuesday. How I listened to it 75 times already today.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why I still like this song. Which one I’m referring to. Where I’ll find the time.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Now there’s no such thing as trivia.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why that was so fucking frustrating. Passive aggression. When it suddenly became okay for you to be so thoughtless and insincere.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Booking a room that is too small. Not anticipating a sell-out. How to fall asleep.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
How you can say that and manage to sound sincere instead of sleazy.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why it seems like I’m wearing eyeshadow in those photos of Disney World. Why grown-up seemed so good. Fake retainers. Paperclip braces. How not to be bored.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
How to remember which password I’ve assigned to which account. Why non-anti-bacterial soap now feels dirty. How it would be possible to employ a stop-watch to encourage efficiency. Not for racing, but to signal that it’s time to move on to the next task. Why you thought you could you could use the freezer’s instruction booklet to fix the air conditioning unit.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Whether you said “Yes, ma’am,” or “Yes, my lady,” and which one would be less creepy. Where the thermometer in an air conditioner actually is. I think I’m done taking pictures.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
The scene in the pharmacy when I went to buy elastic hair bands. The answer when I asked if they sold dry shampoo. They sell it in Sephora, for a fortune. Why more products aren’t named in the manner of “Pssst!” (Mom still imitates the ads.)
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Mechanical requirements How to punctuate this. (The whole thing.) Why the top of the page won’t allow me to type in the full title. How to learn more about the internet without having to learn more about the internet. That time I went back to the old office and it looked like Ground Zero. (And I didn’t have a camera, even a disposable one, on me.)
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
nicknames. Sitemeter. fireworks. why Mother and Child Reunion was removed from the menu.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Which format I should use to title these posts. How to back up my Blackberry. Which clock is correct. Why I can still recall how it physically felt to learn the concept of right and left. (It involved a lot of spinning around on the patio.)
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why I like the music you played me. How I miss moving. Why “bruised fruit” is kind of a beautiful term.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
An office without windows. A restaurant without a bathroom. Her. (Without her boyfriend.)
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
pony tails hard boiled eggs watch batteries (how they have enough power)
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why Roy Orbison looked like a mannequin in his later years. People who call in to pledge drives. (The ones in the background on the phone on the TV must be fake.)
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
What happens when you put antiperspirant on your forehead. Which digital camera to buy. What all those buttons are for.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
The list will be here.