November 2008
13 posts
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
If I wasn’t doing all this, what else would I do?
You are not my dilemma.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I do want someone to say that page 117 reminds them of me.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Someone broke into my storage space and Manhattan Mini Storage didn’t call me; they mailed me a letter.
There is maybe one thing I will miss.
1 tag
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I love the way you hate it.
I can only fall asleep soundly in cabs.
I think I have turned into the type of woman who never changes her necklace.
Why doesn’t your wife realize that she really should stop hugging me when we say “goodbye” and “hello?”
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
A parody, in this case, isn’t even necessary.
I have only purchased one purse on Ebay. I have never carried the bag. I opened it once, when it first arrived, and I had the distinct feeling that it was haunted. It felt like some tween had carried it — a brown leather Marc by Marc Jacobs with my favorite navy blue/red/gold Spring ‘05 pattern lining inside — when she got hit by a...
1 tag
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Certain people should know that they shouldn’t hug you.
You recycled the entire encyclopedia?
We got to brunch so late that they were serving dinner.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
You only smile that way once a day.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I am not a reliable narrator.
It smells like self-tanner.
Who buys that software?
The barrette is clearly out of character.
“Department of Nuclear Medicine” cannot be a good sign.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
There is a whole list of things that other people worry about for me.
I can take care of things like: why that lipstick shade is named “Orgasm,” and whether or not I left it sitting on my desk at work.
2 tags
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I should stop saying, “I have a crush on him.” I sound like I am seven.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Can you just rent an I.T. guy for a project, for a day?
He was married five times.
Maybe we should watch the movie again.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I still need to: get a new driver’s license, stop voting absentee.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
What if I just started calling it what it is: a three hour nap between night and day?
All those un-manned news vans.