February 2008
17 posts
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
How annoyed I am about what happened on Canal Street.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
You could, theoretically, find out you’ve been dumped via Sitemeter. If enough people Google “your name” +”dumped” and then land on your page. “Your name” +”cheated on.” “Your name” +”newly-single.” “Your name” +”left alone,” etc.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Receipt sorting.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
People who scream things at concerts. What to do when I’m not shooting a show. Why I had to sit near security. How I’d managed to never hear the band before.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I’ve tried and failed, repeatedly, to picture what you were like before you were this age.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why I stood there and read the entire embarrassingly-titled self-help book in the middle of the book store. How I can apply that dedication to anything else. Does it count as progress that I know that when I get the stack home, I will never ever (not even once) read any of them?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Things I don’t understand and definitely am going to talk about. Everything.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
How you test to see if you are tone-deaf. The way you fought that ticket in court. (“The photo of the light is in black and white,” you said. “And sideways,” you added, and you won.) Why you didn’t mention that your wife had just died.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Boggle
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why you “have to” do impressions.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Drop waist dresses? Drop-waisted dresses? Dropped waist dresses? Dropped, wasted dresses?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
When we stopped clipping coupons. Will you ever stop being a gimmick? What to do when someone is missing.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
How/why different sources of fiber/antioxidents suddenly become popular. (Like goji berries, acai, and all the pomegranates that came before.)
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
You measure your words with unspeakable precision.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
That isn’t really a system; it seems more like a way of pretending you know what is going on.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
How I lost a car. Literally. I cannot remember where it is parked. Or when I saw it last. Why I was allowed to drive it in the first place. Is “in the first place” even the correct phrase?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I might miss Fashion Week.