April 2008
17 posts
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
How could they spend so much money on such a bad movie? Will it ever be released? I might not be allergic to caviar anymore.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I am over it. I might be tired.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Have I really reached the age where every meeting is a reunion?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
That time we tried out for “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
What does “closest” mean? Those kisses were stale.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Someone else needs to select. I’ve made too many choices for today. Why I left you in charge.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why did you send me a poem of the day, today, any day? That red lipstick I was so happy about — you need eye makeup remover to get it off.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
You sleep with more pillows under your feet than under your head. That’s not comfort; that’s a cult.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I am starting to need more sleep.
Who lives and looks out onto bridges?
It is time to unpack.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
So, now everyone loves poems? Well, aren’t you aggressive? It is possible to lose a car in Park Slope. I have done it. More than once. Something about music you missed.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
How to choose a new perfume. No decision-making skills. How to pick a lipstick shade that is neither the one I’ve worn fairly regularly since I was 12 nor the bright bright red I bought recently when the girl in the store said it looked “rad.”
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why my fake assistant won’t take care of my real appointments. How to find a seamstress I trust in Brooklyn.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Today I got a hula hoop in the mail. I’m tempted to hang it on the wall.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
It’s been three weeks and I’m still listening to the same song on repeat. How did I not know anything about astrology until now?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I don’t want a boyfriend; I want someone who will look both ways when I forget to and then pull me back to stop me, if necessary, before I rush off of the corner and into the street.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Walking home from the Whitney. You meant to finish by midnight? When it is time to pull her aside and say, “No, you see, you’re crazy,” will you do it? Is it time to read? Is there time to read?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
My grandmother’s birthday was April 2. But there was a rumor that it was actually April 1, and only changed by her superstitous mother. Unconfirmed. Foolish?