May 2008
17 posts
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Can you install an alarm on an apartment? I had a small fight with the pharmacist. It only smells like you when you’re gone.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Low blood sugar. Your backing-up system. I lost my Blackberry and I am predictably lost without it. This would be a lot easier to deal with if I had a small, hand-held computer/phone-like device.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Is this hurting my heart?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
You reorganized my freezer while I was sleeping.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Yeah, sure, let’s just add another diagnosis to the pile. I bought hair extensions but haven’t installed them yet. A skipped pill? I scraped a car. That car was orange. I left a note.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I wouldn’t say that to anyone. To everyone.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
You’re not going to change. I’m not going to make you. It’s really time to leave. Why am I dragging this on for so long?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
What would happen if I started watching a soap opera.
Things I Don't Understand and Definitely Am Not...
The silent treatment. She told us that our UPS man died, on Friday, in a motorcycle accident. I’m to attend a workshop, now, on proposal writing. Caroline Kennedy answers her own phone.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I don’t think we need to say “goodnight.” The meters always have money in them. I must admit: it scares me. Blogging is your bonus.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I may have lost the antibiotic. Do you recall drawing perfect circles? Your binder is full. The envelopes came back empty and unsealed.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I think I heard a song called, “The Woman Who Ate Many Tiny Metal Things.” I can’t find any evidence of it actually existing, though. I both hope that I did, and hope that I didn’t, make this up.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Why must I mail all this mail? Why haven’t I ever seen an alarm clock without a “snooze” button? Why can’t we start using that word?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
People whose windows look out onto the subway tracks or the highway. They haven’t made a movie out of that? Sorting
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
You weren’t there with me for the finale.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Somniloquy
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Vacations. My 401K. This metal water bottle I felt compelled to buy. (It tastes like I’m drinking out of a hose or a pipe.) How to remember what I want to say.