July 2008
12 posts
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Well, how am I supposed to feel now?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I like iced coffee more than I like you.
I am okay with that.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Did you really write a self-help song for me?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
The firemen, having put out the fire and put away the ladders and stripped themselves of their overcoats a while ago, treat themselves to cup after paper cup of water while standing at the edge of my driveway. The fire, across the street and over, I think, before they actually got here, has been out for about an hour. Why are all the lights from this unit still flashing, right in my window and...
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
My mom told me that a new mattress might be meaningful.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I am unfamiliar with that phrase.
I am comfortable there.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Once a summer, it seems, the neighborhood kids stick sparklers in bananas and light them and leave them near the curb, in front of my house. It’s just a Thursday night. And why bananas? And why my house? And why only once a year?
1 tag
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
My sister told me that I have blemishes exactly where my Blackberry hits my chin. I did not recognize the pattern. I clean both my face and my Blackberry regularly and with fervor.
She bought me an iPhone as a present.
Did Oprah just say that Lisa Marie Presley is her cousin? Now they’re singing a song that seems to be called “In The Ghetto.” There is also a choir.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
A new bed time.
So I’m supposed to pretend that you are not pretending not to know about my decision.
I’m glad I left early.
1 tag
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
You seem way too old to rely so heavily on passive-aggressive Facebook status messages.
Jon and Kate Plus Eight.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
That thing you do with your eyes.
Is that store called “Smart Cost?”
After the fact.
Which fact?
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I remember you calling and me crying and going back to sleep. But nothing else. I really asked you for a wake-up call? I must have asked in my sleep. The call list on my phone seems to indicate as much. This is classy.
Bay windows.
I’ve been carrying two sets of the same keys.