November 2009
17 posts
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Oversharing is not an act of generosity.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
One year ago, a man was trampled and killed at the entrance to a post-Thanksgiving holiday sale at a Wal-Mart, and yet it seems to be still totally acceptable for stores to toss around the term “DOOR-BUSTER DEALS” in advertising today.
Or, more frequently, “DOORBUSTER.” No hyphen. No space.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
She wrote the screenplay in the shower.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Someone added “.blogspot.com” to the end of each graffiti tag on the wall around the corner from my house.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Do not quote your own blog when you are sitting and eating and talking to other people at the dinner table.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Something about festival dailies.
Something about frozen dumplings.
Something about that stranger, leaning against the doors for the entire ride, writing alternating lines in blue pen and in black pen in a tiny notebook, and never messing up, and balancing.
Something about Botox and sweating.
Something about where they keep the carts at night and when it is cold.
Something about this being...
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
There is a bathtub at the end of the bed. Just a few feet away.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
When you are finally given an office of your own, and at the end of the first day in your new place, someone asks you how you like it, do not say, “It feels a little bit lonely.”
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
He went on a date with Lady Gaga when she lived on the Lower East Side.
You cannot go out with him.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
You gave me all the good lines.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
They did not realize that their friendship was fake.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
She was born with a business card in her hand.
1 tag
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I wanted to tell him, “I am pretty sure that you did not miss a Missed Connection.”
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
One man wrote 96 novels.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
She was always searching for the story.
He was sometimes searching for her story too.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
The permanent condition.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Is it necessary for the byline to read, “INTERVIEW CONDUCTED, CONDENSED AND EDITED BY…” ?
Why stop there?