August 2009
20 posts
Things I Don't Undertstand And Definitely Am Not...
The flight leaves at 6:00 a.m.
This feels like an awkward time for an adventure.
July 2009
23 posts
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
It was the kind of love story where they didn’t even kiss.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
It sounds better in blank verse.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Infinity pools.
Eternity bands.
I never know how to interact with other people’s pets.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
So, Freud’s been standing there the whole time?
On your top shelf. Obviously.
I never noticed. Obviously.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
It is not a always a great idea to run LexisNexis searches for that.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I put on my makeup, most mornings, on the subway.
I prefer to consider this an accomplishment of my hand/eye(liner) coordination than to admit it is a failure of my time management skills.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Paul Newman put protein in pretzels.
Yellow pea flour.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Ponytails.
Chicago.
How many chairs is too many chairs to have in a bedroom?
5 tags
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I fell asleep in the taxi.
I ended up on Eastern Parkway in Crown Heights instead of Ocean Parkway in Ditmas Park.
I am usually notably cranky right after I wake up, so I was shocked when the driver turned off the meter and took me to the right place.
Before I’d even had the chance to really protest. I was still sort of yawning and stretching.
I suppose that it is also likely that I...
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I am terrible at staying in touch.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
The phrase “emerging artist” makes me nauseous.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
How much is the hotel going to hate me?
A leg-shaving accident has left my room looking like a Law & Order episode.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
We did not make any plans.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
The etymology of “update.”
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I thought that was implied.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
He told me that I should add some typos to my e-mail.
“It will make you more likable. I promise.”
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
A French Braid does not make you look younger.
In fact, twisting your* hair into a French Braid turns the gray hair (that starts at the temples) into stripes.
*My hair.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
When did I become the type of person who can only book air travel a few days before my flight?
I leave on Friday. I just bought my tickets now. I am not surprised.
4 tags
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
My sister’s Facebook status update: “I look too pretty today to be this unproductive!”
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I was nicer than I needed to be.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
They thought that the subway was a fine place to eat sushi.
Soy sauce in small plastic cups.
And possibly sake. (Smaller paper cups that were not clear so I could not see.)
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
That is an archetype for another day.