October 2009
18 posts
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
On television shows they always wrap the tops and bottoms of gift boxes separately.
September 2009
20 posts
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
This might be the most amazing sentence in today’s New York Times: “Everybody here is scared now,” Primo Dlmn from Morocco said on Tuesday while selling Lemonhead candy and cigarettes at a bodega in the middle of the block.
BB Gun Shootings by Sniper Put Alphabet City on Edge
Though there are some other gems in the same ridiculously-written article:
“On the other side...
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Prior-authorization.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
A title can never be too long.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Uneasy access.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Your lack of concern seems so genuine.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
They fell out of love so fast.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
She made a distinction between my laugh and a “fake laugh” that she alleges I employ when I am not actually paying attention to the other person in a conversation.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I was bored at their house.
I took a book off the shelf and began to read.
“How To Get Whatever You Want Out Of Life”
While there, I did not have time to read the whole book, so I thought it was appropriate that I take it home with me too.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Define “overreact.”
1 tag
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
The Kabbalah Centre sent me an e-mail that states, “As you may know, Rosh Hashanah in New York has sold out.”
I did not know that.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Your mom reads my blog.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
He is often credited with inventing “the first interoffice envelope for use in the home.”
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
They just sat there and picked at the french fries on their plates and pretended that they were talking on their cell phones to people we could not see.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Her personal laugh track is not always in sync with what is actually said.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
Whether or not this is one of those stories.
1 tag
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
She could tell, from the way he said “Hello” when she answered the phone, that the news would not be good.
So she put him on hold and quickly cut her hair with a small pair of sewing scissors that had never been even particularly good for cutting thread.
Once she freed each curl of its split end, she put on a pearl necklace and picked up the phone.
She felt in control, at least,...
2 tags
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
My sister must be mad: she deleted our friendship on Facebook. Social networking is fantastic for super mature siblings.
3 tags
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
His business card says: “Lead Genius.” I instantly hate him even more.
Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not...
I started another blog.