Things I Do Not Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About
- Tomorrow morning I am going to be on Good Morning America.
- Tonight I arrived home and realized that I left my bag (keys, wallet, eyeglasses, various pills, makeup, 10 pounds of other assorted important things) in my office.
- Sometimes I manage to surprise myself.
- #themosthumblebrag
ADDENDUM:
- My mom just sent a text message that says, “WHAT?! THAT DOESN’T SURPRISE ME ABOUT YOU AT ALL.”
